Some people think that sending a picture is the solution, but according to Cyberflirts, "The most important thing to remember is that a single picture of a person may not tell the whole story. [] When you meet them in person and they could be completely different then what you pictured. You may feel let down and like you never really knew the person..."
When in doubt, ask your online suitor or love interest to send a recent photo. Or even better, ask them to install a webcam program so you can see what they look like live. It is amazing how much you can tell about a person, just by their gestures and eye movements.
The site asks if you would log on to the Internet if you knew it meant, "You would find true love. You would make wonderful new friends. You would discover a new addiction. You would lose every cent you ever saved. You would be stalked in ways you never imagined. You would be betrayed and deceived by strangers you called friends. It's not only possible! It's probable."
Safedating.com is full of first persons stories, sent in by women who were led down the garden path by con-men, married men and perverse persons they met in chat rooms and through message boards.
ERA, an Electronic Relationship Advice site, puts all this in a nutshell on their website, when they say, "most people are fascinated by the process ... their fascination is fueled by the same motive that makes people turn and look at dead animals on the road."
In other words, most people who are on the net are just curious, not serious when it comes to romance. On ERA, the uninitiated can find information about everything from cyber-cheaters (men who talk dirty to someone else beside you on the web), women who pretend to be a lot thinner than they are and men who lie about the size of their assets.
What about liars, cheaters, con men and long distance relationships? There are no statistics out on this either, but my suspicion is that your chances of meeting these on the web are not only similar but probably greater than meeting this kind of person in a bar.
I guess when it comes to human nature, you can change the medium, but you'll still get the same old messages.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Is He Still Interested?
Where the problems start however, is when one person in the relationship is still expecting this heightened level of new relationship interaction after a longer period of time. Your boyfriend doesn't think anything is wrong, because to him, what he`s doing is normal when he`s comfortable with someone. As well, he may be needing a bit more time to himself than previously to work out how he really feels about you. Eight months is a long time, and he`s probably wondering where things are going, just as you are. Problem is, he most likely needs some space from you to figure it out.
If still you think your boyfriend isn't interested, here's what I suggest you do:
Focus on yourself for a while. Don`t worry about what your boyfriend is doing, whether that's working a lot or playing video games nonstop. Think about the people and activities you've left by the wayside temporarily while the two of you were forging your relationship, and slowly start incorporating them back into your life.
Take a look at your relationship expectations during your time away from your partner. A quick review may show you that your needs have changed and a discussion is required with your partner. Alternatively, you may find that yes, your expectations have become unrealistic.
Don't call, email, or otherwise contact your boyfriend for a week. Give him some space and time. In fact, if you are able, don`t contact him until he makes contact with you, first. Fill your life and time with other things that aren't related to your boyfriend, and see just how long it takes him to miss you. If your relationship is going anywhere, he will call you soon enough, and the two of you can reconnect lovingly. If, however, he does not make contact within a predetermined amount of time (say, a month), you will know that the relationship is over.
If still you think your boyfriend isn't interested, here's what I suggest you do:
Focus on yourself for a while. Don`t worry about what your boyfriend is doing, whether that's working a lot or playing video games nonstop. Think about the people and activities you've left by the wayside temporarily while the two of you were forging your relationship, and slowly start incorporating them back into your life.
Take a look at your relationship expectations during your time away from your partner. A quick review may show you that your needs have changed and a discussion is required with your partner. Alternatively, you may find that yes, your expectations have become unrealistic.
Don't call, email, or otherwise contact your boyfriend for a week. Give him some space and time. In fact, if you are able, don`t contact him until he makes contact with you, first. Fill your life and time with other things that aren't related to your boyfriend, and see just how long it takes him to miss you. If your relationship is going anywhere, he will call you soon enough, and the two of you can reconnect lovingly. If, however, he does not make contact within a predetermined amount of time (say, a month), you will know that the relationship is over.
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